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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704459">and the road not taken looks real good now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/redahlia/pseuds/redahlia'>redahlia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gilmore Girls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AYITL, Dean Forester (mentioned) - Freeform, F/M, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, Literati, Logan Huntzberger (mentioned) - Freeform, Post-Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life, Pregnant Rory, this is me being emotional over them, we're fixing that mess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:14:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,076</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/redahlia/pseuds/redahlia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let it go. So, that's it, I guess. I hope you're good. I want you to be good, and - okay, so, goodbye. That word sounds really lame and stupid right now, but there it is. Goodbye,” she waited a second longer before hanging up the phone. It had been so hard to say those words, but only later would she realise why - she hated the idea of saying goodbye.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rory Gilmore &amp; Jess Mariano, Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and the road not taken looks real good now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i just wanted to say that i finished this around 3:30am so i apologise for eventual typos/grammar mistakes</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Rory?” the door wasn’t locked - had that door ever been locked? “Rory!” he walked into the living room: the TV was still on, a blanket discarded on the backrest of the couch and a book placed facedown on the floor. It always looked like someone had fled the place.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Jess?” Rory’s voice came from the kitchen, and he ran towards it. “What are you doing here?” she wondered confused as soon as he reached her.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Are you okay?” she was sitting at the table, laptop and a cup of coffee near her. Paul Anka was sleeping at her feet, but as soon as Jess walked in, he raised his head and looked at the intruder with a confused expression matching the one of the woman sitting on the yellow chair.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Of course I am,” she smiled and got up, taking her cup with her for a refill. Jess gaped at her, confusion pushing his worry aside. “Why wouldn’t I?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Luke called me,” he dropped the bag in his hand on one of the chairs, following her with his eyes, “said to come right away because you needed help. He sounded terrified,” with a sigh he sat on yet another chair, leaning his head back and running one hand through his hair.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why would he -” a soft buzz came from Rory’s phone sitting next to the computer, and the screen lit up with a notification from Lorelai. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, right.” She placed another cup of coffee in front of him and sat back down.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Rory, it’s the middle of the night,” he said it with a smile, moving the cup slightly forward to avoid knocking it over when he placed his elbows on the table. “Why is Luke so worried? I thought I would find you in a pool of blood or something. I even brought a first aid kit!” he pointed at the bag. Rory laughed and closed her laptop before turning with the cup in her hands, tapping her index against it. She had debated with herself for a long time when to say what to who. The only people who already knew about the baby were Lorelai, Lane, Paris and Emily. Luke would’ve freaked out the moment they told him, so Rory had convinced her mom to keep it hidden until the honeymoon was over - which, apparently, hadn’t worked out so well. It had at least lasted two weeks, which was more than she expected.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay, but you have to promise me you won’t freak out,” she leaned over, and Jess frowned again. “Well, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>freak out </span>
  </em>
  <span>freak out, just don’t pull off something Luke-like.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Are you trying to offend me?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I mean waking you up in the middle of the night as if I were drowning in the bathtub or passed out in a house-fire or -”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Rory,” he called out, softly, reaching for her hands.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out, then sealed her lips as silence fell. Jess’s lips were slightly parted, and Rory kept her eyes on Paul Anka who’d gone back to sleep, his tail slowly wagging and hitting one of the legs of the table with a soft thud. That was the only sound they could hear, for what seemed to be an eternity, along with the ticking of a clock somewhere in the house, unnerving and unnecessarily loud. Then Jess cleared his throat.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That’s -” he hummed and sat back, taking the cup she’d given him just so he had something to do with his hands. “It’s a good thing? Right?” he questioned tentatively.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes,” she exhaled with relief, shoulders sagging forward. She then took a breath in and straightened again. “It was up for debate for a while, but it is a good thing,” then she placed a hand over her belly - a silly thing to do, but for some reason it brought her comfort. The debate had been with herself only - Lorelai had never doubted for a moment her decision of keeping the baby. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re not gonna be on your own, kid. You’ve got us - you’ve got me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well, I - congratulations,” he smiled, eyed the coffee in her hands with a crease of worry forming in between his brows, and realised there was no point in trying. “Who - is it Paul’s?” Rory frowned, then her cheeks heated up ever so slightly.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Uh, no. He broke up with me in the end,” she shrugged. “It’s fair, I treated him awfully.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey, I’m sure that’s not true,” she snorted, sitting back. “So, who’s -” she met his gaze again, nervously biting her bottom lip - for a moment she looked like a deer caught in the headlights, her clear eyes widened in something like terror and shyness. Jess watched her. “I thought things were over with Logan,” he admitted, and when she looked away he knew he was right.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They were - well, are,” she placed the cup on the table and tucked her hair behind her ears with a sigh. “He’s getting married, so it doesn’t matter. It’s better this way.” That had been another long discussed thing - she was going to tell him. At some point. That he deserved to know. But she was certain that if she told him right away, he would do anything so they would be back together, and she’d been working so hard to stitch herself up that she couldn’t allow it.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But shouldn’t he -”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Jess,” she called him softly, his name a mere whisper, and he immediately felt the anger diminish. Her lips bent in a small smile. “It’s okay. I have all the help I need, I will be fine.” She got up then, grabbed the two cups and placed them in the sink.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I should go then,” he got up as well, rubbing his hands against his pants. Rory eyed the clock: 3:24 AM.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s late - you can stay if you want. I’m sleeping upstairs, so my room is free,” she shrugged, taking the laptop and quickly typing on her phone.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sorry, he knows.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>He sent Jess over, it’s alright. Love you.<br/></span>
  </em>
  <span>When she looked up, Jess was looking at her already. They stood like that for a moment, a sort of awkwardness in their stances, then he cleared his throat and moved to take the bag.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Right, thanks,” he tugged at his shirt and took a few steps in the room’s direction. “Luke will be calmer this way, at least,” he added, turning on his heels. “Night.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Goodnight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paul Anka trotted in front of Rory as she walked down the stairs, the rather unfamiliar smell of cooking guiding her towards the kitchen. The only times she’d woken up with the house smelling of eggs and pancakes had been when Luke had cooked directly there. In the kitchen, Jess and Lane chatted as he moved in front of the sizzling pans.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Good morning,” Rory called with a sleepy smile on her face. “Luke will be thrilled knowing someone else is using his kitchen,” Jess handed her a cup filled with coffee as he grinned and returned to the cooking. “Thank you.” Lane followed her movements with her eyes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He already called to ask how you’re doing and if they should come back. I think I heard Lorelai call him a mother hen,” he snickered. Rory took a sip of coffee, then stopped abruptly and frowned, softly smacking her lips as she glanced down into the cup. A big grin formed on the other woman’s lips.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Jess,” Rory called, calmly, “this is decaf.” Lane started laughing and clapped her hands.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I told you she would not fall for it!” she exclaimed, enthusiastic. An almost offended expression appeared on Rory’s face as she sat down next to her friend.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re incredible,” he sighed before placing a plate in front of her. “I’m gonna make the right coffee.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Thank you,” Rory said again, a sheepish grin on her lips. “Shouldn’t you be at the diner?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Caesar is doing fine,” he shrugged, and gave no further explanation. He was facing the coffee machine, his back turned on the two women sitting at the table, and Lane - always observant Lane - moved her gaze from one to the other. Despite his calm voice, Jess’s back was slightly stiff, and he kept moving his weight from one leg to the other in an almost imperceptible way. Rory pushed her food around the plate, following his movements with her still sleepy eyes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Here we go again,” Lane whispered under her breath, an exasperated edge in her voice.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What?” they both asked, turning in her direction.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I said I have to go,” she got up and drank the last bit of coffee in her cup before leaning to press a kiss against Rory’s cheek. “Call me if you need anything. Thank you for the breakfast, Jess.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Anytime,” he waved at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jess sat next to her as she cleared the last bits of food on her plate. She covered her mouth once she noticed his amused grin, glaring at him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I was wondering: for how many are you eating now. I mean, it used to be six? Is it seven? Ten?” he leaned forward with his elbows on the table.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Very funny,” she rolled her eyes and sat back on the chair, wiping her mouth before bringing the cup of hot coffee against her chest, breathing in deeply its scent. Jess laughed, then raised his hands in surrender. Whatever awkwardness was there the night before had gone, and they both felt more at ease near the other, just like it used to be.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“How’s the writing going?” he asked then, and Rory’s face seemed to brighten up all of a sudden. She smiled, eyes glimmering - then tried to put on a serious expression, the smile turning slightly crooked and eyes half-closed in a solemn expression.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she snorted at her words, but basked in Jess’s expression.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You gave painful Ernest another chance, I see,” he couldn’t help but smile, the memory of that day of so many years ago still fresh in his mind.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I promised. Still not a fan though,” she admitted, then stretched her arms over the table and sat up straighter. “Anyway, it’s going great. The words come by so easy now - I think I have to thank you for this.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s your story.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It was your idea,” he scoffed, but she quickly reached over the table to take his hand in hers, squeezing it lightly. “I’m serious, Jess! If it weren’t for you I would still be looking for journaling jobs, or book deals with some other crazy person.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Then I’m glad I’ve been helpful,” after a moment of hesitation, he placed his hand over hers. They remained like that for a while more, then he glanced at his watch and sighed. “I have to go, but if you need anything just call me.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Of course,” she squeezed his hand one last time before letting go, his finger brushing on the back of hers as she pushed herself up. “Don’t worry, I promise I can handle it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For over a week, Jess would come and go with any possible given excuse. He would drop off some groceries, bring something Caesar made to her office, a new book he found interesting, more food. At first Rory would look at him and shake her head with a sigh - he seemed to become more and more like Luke, and as the day passed she grew accustomed to having him around.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“One last thing,” her call with Lorelai had been going on for about an hour, the two women catching up on the past few days. Rory had set the rule for them to not speak everyday if not via text: it was Lorelai’s honeymoon, she had to enjoy it and not think about anything else. “Can you tell Luke I’m more than capable of feeding myself and he doesn’t have to send Jess over all the time?” she looked up as the door of the kitchen opened, Jess and Paul Anka walking in from their evening stroll. Rory smiled at him and pointed at her phone locked between her ear and shoulder. He nodded in answer as he shrugged the jacket off his shoulders and walked out of the kitchen.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Jess is there? And he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>cooking</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Lorelai asked, baffled. Rory frowned at her voice.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You didn’t know?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Honey, Luke hasn’t said anything to Jess after the other night.” At that, Rory took the phone with her hand and leaned back on the chair, free arm crossed over his chest, staring at the computer screen. Lorelai cleared her throat after a few moments longer of silence. “Is he a good cook?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Surprisingly, yes, guess the days working at the Diner helped,” Rory smiled, then looked up as Jess walked back in, Paul Anka at his heels. The dog adored him. “I think Paul Anka agrees. He follows him around all the time - I wouldn’t be surprised if he went home with him.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That traitor!” Lorelai exclaimed, making Rory laugh again. Jess turned his head ever so slightly to look at the woman as she closed her eyes and bent her head back.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You raised him well,” she said in between laughter.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I guess I did,” a knock came in the distance and there was a low shuffling. “I have to go now, text you later?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Say hi to Jess for me,” Rory frowned at her request, but Lorelai had already hung up. Jess turned while she looked at the screen, crossing his arms and trying to decipher her expression.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Everything alright?” he wondered, and Rory shrugged, putting the phone down.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“She says hi,” she replied, then looked back at the computer where the cursor blinked at her from the white, empty page. Jess arched his eyebrows, then watched as Rory took her head in her hands, leaning forward. “And I’m stuck. It has been so easy so far and now I’m stuck. I can’t be stuck.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s not the end of the world,” he reassured her, walking to the table and rubbing his hand over her shoulders slowly. Some tension left her back and she sighed, not moving from her bent position. “You’ve been working non-stop for, what, two months? You can take a break,” he brought his hand to the back of her neck left uncovered by her hair, up in a bun held by a pencil. He massaged her skin, feeling her relax beneath his fingers bit by bit.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I had picked up such a nice pace and now the words aren’t coming anymore,” she rubbed her face and leaned into his touch, eyes closed as she moved her head back. “And what if they don’t come back? What if I have just the beginning of it and I’m not able to -”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Rory, you’re rambling,” Jess called her softly, moving his hand to the back of her head for support. She opened her eyes, lips slightly parted, and met his gaze. “It’s gonna be fine. You just need to take some days off. The words will be back, I promise.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re still really nice to me,” she hummed, making him grin.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I learned to be nice to other people, you know?” she nodded, lips bent in a little smile. “You still were the first one,” he added, his voice a mere whisper, and their eyes met again.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Rory’s breath caught in her throat for a moment, and she felt the sudden urge to raise her hand and brush his hair away from his face. She liked that he’d let it grow, it suited him. Her gaze roamed over his face - his half-closed eyelids, his eyes she remembered watching with fascination as they changed colour according to the light, the unshaved beard, his parted lips.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I -” she had to clear her throat, forcing herself to move from his hold, “I’m hungry. Do you want pizza? I want pizza,” she got up, her hip hitting the table as she squeezed through it and a stunned Jess who wondered: had he imagined it? That stare, one he’d seen already and that he’d longed for?</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Pizza it is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paris let herself fall on the chair in front of Rory’s desk with a deep sigh, rolling her shoulders before closing her eyes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hello to you too,” Rory laughed, grabbing one of the glasses and the bottle in the drawer to hand her. “You seem to need it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Kids are exhausting, but parents are even worse,” the other woman complained, reaching for the bottle and pouring herself a generous glass of scotch. “Speaking of kids, the children say hi. I think they like you more than they like us,” she downed half the glass with one sip before placing it back on the desk.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What can I say? I have a talent,” Rory shrugged with a smile, and Paris scoffed, almost rolling her eyes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wait until that one comes out,” she eyed Rory’s belly, then grabbed the glass again, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>then</span>
  </em>
  <span> we’ll talk about it.” Rory frowned, a hand going to her bump - she wondered if other people saw it. In the morning she would stand in front of the mirror, shirt lifted trying to find changes in her silhouette. Most times, she felt like she looked just the same - perhaps it was too soon to tell. Three months had barely passed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The door opened and Jess walked in quickly, paper bag in hand.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Rory asked as he placed the bag on the desk near her, in plain sight so she would not forget about it. “You look - disheveled.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s fine, just a call from the publishing house, I have to send some emails,” he leaned on the desk for a moment, like he was catching his breath, then leaned over to press a quick kiss on her cheek that seemed to catch them both unprepared - as if he hadn’t planned on doing it, and she hadn’t expected it to happen. “Gotta go, I’ll see you at home,” then he waved in Paris’s direction, disappearing as fast as he’d come. Paris observed as her friend regained her posture before arching an eyebrow and leaning over, elbows on her knees and eyes firmly fixed on Rory.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What?” she snapped after a moment longer of her gaze making her uncomfortable.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ll see you at home?” Rory’s cheeks heated up, and Paris almost burst out laughing. “You two live together now?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He’s just staying with me until my mom and Luke come back,” Rory crossed her arms over her chest. “It makes Luke feel calmer.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Whatever you say, Gilmore,” Paris snorted, then tapped against the closed laptop in front of Rory. “Have you managed to go back to writing?” Rory shook her head.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Not really. I keep trying but the scene doesn’t feel right,” she admitted, then shrugged. “Perhaps I just have to move on and then go back to it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Which part are you at?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Our graduation day,” she reached for the paper bag and the sandwich inside, leaning then back on the chair with her brows furrowed in concentration.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why, you can’t remember it? Or the speech? It was a really nice speech,” Paris reached over and took a piece of the sandwich for herself.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That bit I wrote - it’s after the ceremony I just,” she sighed and shook her head, “I’m not able to write it down. It doesn’t feel right.” Paris chewed slowly, still studying the other woman’s expression, and after gulping the bite down she cleared her throat.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Isn’t that when you first broke things off with Jess?” she wondered, and Rory’s eyes were immediately on her. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, I was showing Nanny around and I heard you were on the phone,” she lifted her hands almost in surrender, and Rory felt herself hunch slightly over.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It is, but it has nothing to do with it,” she placed the food back in the bag and wiped her hands nervously. “It’s one of the last important ceremonies with my grandfather, and -” she stopped speaking all of a sudden, knowing that she couldn’t find anything else to say, and even if she tried she wouldn’t be able to fool Paris - perhaps not even herself.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The other woman sighed and got up, downing the last sip of her drink before putting her jacket on.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just think about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had simply happened. That’s what he told himself pulling back, eyes wide open. It had been some sort of lapsus. He’d walked into the room and she looked so frustrated in front of her laptop, but her face had lit up once she’d seen him. He’d only wanted to say hi. He hadn’t even realised being near her, bending over and pressing his lips to hers until it had happened and she’d yelped in surprise.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jess moved back and froze, unable to back away further, and Rory looked up in his direction, equally stunned. He wanted to say something - anything, really, but the words wouldn’t come, stuck in his throat and almost choking him. For a long moment he felt like he was gasping for air, then Rory’s hands were on his face, cold and gentle.<br/></span>
  <span>She hadn’t been sure. Ever since Paris had mentioned that conversation - or rather the monologue - of so many years ago, Rory had kept thinking about it. Not that day in particular, but how many times she’d deluded herself with a closure.With Dean, and with Logan. Even with Paul she’d managed in the end. But not with Jess - never with Jess. No matter how hard she tried, he was always there, he would always come back, and she would always be waiting.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>So she held his face and brought him down towards her, and kissed him again. He bent over, melting against her lips, one hand on the table and one on the backrest of her chair for support. Their first kiss had been rushed, with a sort of hunger to it, leaving them both breathless and unsatisfied.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>This first kiss felt like coming home. Slow, and delicate, and warm. Welcoming, and right.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Without parting, Rory got up, helping her movements by holding onto his shoulders before wrapping one arm around them so she could pull herself up to meet him. Jess’s arms circled her waists, holding her tightly against him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When she pulled away, breathing in deeply, his hands pressed on her back, still holding her close.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We’re at my place,” she whispered, not trusting her voice not to tremble. “I can’t run away this time,” she added with a smile before leaving a peck at the corner of his mouth.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’d still rather not take the risk,” he kissed her again, bolder this time, and slowly started to pull her away from the kitchen. She almost laughed against his mouth as he walked backwards towards the living room, holding her in his arms every step of the way, and as they fell on the couch Rory’s hands found their way through his hair, combing it back.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wait,” she said all of a sudden, moving her head back despite still holding him tightly against herself. Jess tried to kiss his way back up to her mouth, starting from the jawline up across the cheek. “I have it, hold on,” she squirmed beneath him, making him stop and frown.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Have what?” he moved slightly back, unsure whether to get up from her or not.</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>“What to write, I know what I have to write,” she said, her hands going to his shoulder to push him away so she could sit down.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Seriously?” he sighed, giving up completely and sitting back. Rory grinned, nodded, and placed a quick, open-mouthed kiss against his lips before running to the kitchen again. “You’re a tease, Gilmore!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let it go. So, that's it, I guess. I hope you're good. I want you to be good, and - okay, so, goodbye. That word sounds really lame and stupid right now, but there it is. Goodbye,” she waited a second longer before hanging up the phone. It had been so hard to say those words, but only later would she realise why - she hated the idea of saying goodbye. There had been and were going to be many closures in her life - some long-awaited, some suffered, some perhaps even amusing. But with him there could not be one. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>rewatched AYITL and lost my mind at the "yup. long over" because sad boi is not, in fact, over it.<br/>in my mind, after the final scene, luke and lorelai come back and find them asleep cuddling on the couch, and lorelai owes luke 10$ because he knew it would happen</p>
<p>title: 'tis the damn season (taylor swift)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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